Caregiving Setup for Dementia Care: Products, Systems, and Tools That Help at Home

People often see the emotional side of caregiving, but they do not always see the systems that help caregivers survive the day to day. The carts, wipes, medications, spreadsheets, adaptive equipment, feeding tools, hygiene supplies, alarms, labels, and routines all become part of a caregiver’s world.

In this practical and deeply personal episode of Chat with Nat, Natalie Kime pulls back the curtain on her home caregiving setup and shares the products, systems, and organization tools that help her care for her mom with dementia. She talks honestly about how caregiving changes your home, your routines, your emotions, your budget, and your sense of normal.

From adjustable beds and Hoyer lifts to bath wipes, syringe feeding, medication spreadsheets, drawer labels, restock systems, and caregiver routines, Natalie shares what has worked, what she would do differently, and why having a caregiving setup can reduce stress, save time, protect your body, and help you feel more prepared.

This episode is especially helpful for family caregivers, dementia caregivers, adult children caring for aging parents, and anyone trying to organize a home care space without making their house feel cold or clinical.

What You Will Hear

• How caregiving changes your home and daily routines
• Why caregiver organization matters for survival
• How Natalie set up her mom’s room for familiarity and comfort
• The emotional reality of turning your home into a caregiving space
• Dementia care products Natalie uses regularly
• Adjustable beds, bed rails, waterproof liners, and pressure sore prevention
• Standing frames, bedside commodes, Hoyer lifts, and mobility support
• Hygiene supplies, bed baths, shampoo basins, gloves, wipes, and barrier creams
• Medication management systems and spreadsheets
• Pill crushers, syringes, thickened liquids, and feeding tools
• How to create a restock system so you do not run out of supplies
• Why drawer labels, rolling tables, laundry routines, and trash systems matter
• How caregiver groups can help you avoid wasting money
• Why systems do not make you cold, they make caregiving more sustainable

Caregiving is not just emotional labor. It is operational labor too. This episode gives caregivers practical ideas for creating systems that protect their time, body, money, and peace.

Today’s episode is brought to you by Casa De Confidence Productions, helping podcasters confidently share conversations that matter.

This podcast covers caregiving, caregiver burnout, caregiving and finances, financial planning for caregivers, money management, elder care, and balancing caregiving with work and life. Chat with Nat: Conversations That Count helps caregivers feel supported, informed, and confident in both their care decisions and financial future.

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The content shared on this podcast is meant to support and inform, but it is not a substitute for professional financial, medical, or legal advice. Please consult with a trusted professional who can guide you based on your individual needs and circumstances. 

Transcript

1:00:00

People see the emotional side of caregiving, but what they don't see is the systems behind survival. The carts, the meds, the wipes, the spreadsheets, the cups and the gadgets you never imagined buying. Today, I'm pulling back the curtain and talking to you about exactly how I've set up our caregiving space, the products that genuinely have helped, and the systems that have saved my sanity. Welcome back to Chat with Nat, conversations that count, the podcast where we talk about money, caregiving, legacy, family faith, and all the things that actually matter. Today's episode is brought to you by Casa de Competence Productions. Julie and Dan Collins are the kind of team every podcaster dreams of. They're supportive, professional, and incredibly talented, and making sure your voice comes through confidently and clearly. If you've ever thought, "Maybe I should start a podcast," go connect with them at casa de competence dot website so you can see what that might look like. My money tip for this week is caregiving gets expensive fast. One of the biggest mistakes families make is buying random products out of desperation instead of planning for what their needs actually are or might be in the immediate future. Before you spend money on something that seems like a great idea, get into caregiver groups. Ask people's opinions. Ask for recommendations. Read reviews from real caregivers on what they think about the products. Think about efficiency, not just convenience. Invest in items that save your body, time, or mental energy. A $40 product that prevents burnout is way cheaper than exhaustion. All right, the evolution of my caregiving area, or our caregiving area, I'll say, because it's mom's space too. Listen, when I started this process, mom was still very self-sufficient and able-bodied. And so there wasn't a ton of caregiving setup. Other than when I moved my parents here, I was very intentional about setting up their bedroom at my house as similar to their bedroom at home for familiarity for my mom and dad. They slept on the same sides of the bed. The bed was positioned the same way. Their room was kind of in a space in the same shape as the room they'd had in their own home. And so it made it pretty easy to do that. But I was setting it up to make it that transition a little more comfortable for my mom and make it a little more familiar on where she could find things, where bed was, all of the things. Consistency to what she was used to was important for me. One of the other things I did is across from where she would sit in the living room, I put a chalkboard on the wall, a cute little frame chalkboard. And I used one of those chalk markers. And I would write on there the things that mom would ask about the most. So often when we got a loop of questioning, it was what day is today? Where am I? Where are we going today? Where's my purse? Where's my lipstick? Simple, cute little questions like that. And I wrote the answers to them on the chalkboard so that she could look over there and see it. And she would go through and I could hear her saying, "Oh, we're going to the doctor today. Oh, my lipstick is in my purse. My purse is in my bedroom." Just simple little things like that. But they were the questions that my mom would ask on repeat over and over and over again. So I tried to make, I tried to put information on there that made it easier for her to be less confused and concerned in the process. Now, when my mom was first diagnosed, I was definitely the distant support caregiver. They were still living in their home. My brother was more local. And so he and my sister-in-law were definitely plugged in, checking on them more because they lived in Utah where my parents were at. I'm in Texas. But transitioning to that full-time caregiving and everyday life of a caregiver is a huge shift. But not just for me as a caregiver. It was a huge shift for both of my parents. My dad doesn't need the care and support at the level my mom does, but it was still a shift for him. There were parts of independence that were no longer there. There were shared spaces that we had to be cognitive of for them and they had to be cognitive of for us. So it is like getting used to living with your parents again, but now they're living with you in your home instead of you in theirs. And so my home wasn't safe. So me going to live with them was not even an option. Plus my life, my relationship, my business is all established in Texas. And so it just made sense for them to come here. But there is also an emotional side of turning parts of your home into medical living spaces, and the big transition within my home for that really didn't happen at a significant level until last fall, when my mom had her big decline and it was more equipment, more things like that staged around the home. And so rooms were starting to change from how I designed and created my home to be. And that is emotional. So guys, when we got, we purchased two lift chairs for my parents, amazing purchase. I'll talk more about that here in a bit. But when we got those to put in the living room, we had a couch and a loveseat already. We were trying to keep as much seating in the living room because we do family dinners on Sunday. And so we needed places for seven or eight people to sit and things, but trying to navigate the furniture around, I got to a point, it was absolutely overwhelming. And I was trying to navigate my way through it. And there was a point I just shut down and went outside and my son came outside and I broke down crying. And I felt horrible. I mean, the guilt and caregiving, we all know it's real, but I felt horrible that I was so focused on how my living room was changing. But at this point, it was the last room besides my own bedroom on the main floor of my house that was the way I had designed and created it to be. And while all the other rooms around it had changed and shifted, I still had that. The place we spent the most time was still the way I created it to be. And now that was shifting. And I remember my my son saying to me, Mom, it's OK. It's OK to feel like that. It's OK to feel that shift from what you wanted things to be to what they are. And it's not that they're bad, y'all, by any stretch of the imagination. I've gotten very used to how the room is set up now and it works great. But in that moment, it was like letting go of that last piece of what I'd created my home to be for me to make it a home that accommodated my parents and especially my mom. And then there's also creating function in your home without feeling like it becomes really cold or clinical, still having, I don't know, character and. And and what whatever you want to call it, I can't think of what to call it, but still having that. It's a lived in space. It's a home. And I wanted it to still feel like a home while being functional for all the things that my mom needs and all of the things that I use to care for her. So when it started out, it was really establishing my parents room. So it would be familiar and then putting reminders around the house that would make things easier for my mom. But it wasn't necessarily. I mean, she'd had her wheelchair before they came and a walker. And so those came with them. And other than that, there wasn't a lot of equipment or supplies per se that were taking up space or changing the dynamic of the house. Again, that really started about eight months ago. Now. Like I said, that is a whole shift. There are emotional aspects to it. There's, of course, the physical, tangible aspects to it. And you've got to navigate through that the way that works best for your person and yourself. But I'm going to challenge you guys, caregivers, if you feel like your house is being turned upside down into a assisted living facility or a nursing care facility, it likely is. And there are ways to keep part of you and make it still feel like a home. Yep. It means that sometimes I feel like certain rooms in my house are extra cluttered with things, not that they're messy. They just have extra things in them than I would normally have. Then my typical aesthetic is or was prior to all of this. But it still feels comfortable in the moment. Overwhelming. Yes. And I had my little meltdown, but it still feels comfortable and it still feels like a home. And that has allowed me, I think, to adjust to the changes a little bit better, a little bit faster. And now it's just the norm. All those things that have changed, they just become the norm. But it's a process and give yourself some grace as you navigate that. Now, here's the next thing I want to talk about products. I swear by it is amazing the things I thought I would need as a caregiver to the reality of. What has become essential now, I am extremely blessed very shortly after my parents came to live with me, I started following some other caregivers that are phenomenal about sharing their stories. Things that they use. Things that aren't worth it. Just talking about all the aspects of caregiving. And that helped prep me to dial in a little bit more about things I would need when we hit certain milestones in my mom's dementia journey. OK. But there were still things that didn't really get used or didn't really serve the purpose the way I thought that they would. And other things just ended up making more sense. So number one, I want to talk about bed and comfort after my mom's first hospitalization back in December. We purchased an adjustable bed for my parents. Now, I will already tell you if I could go back, I would have asked about a bed that adjusts up and down, not just the head reclining, not just the feet lifting up, but the actual base of the bed lifts up and down. I didn't even think about it at the time. But now that my mom is bed bound to have that ability similar to a hospital bed, raising and lowering would be an absolute game changer. And we're going to manage with what we have for as long as possible. We may have to go to a hospital bed in the future, but right now it works. OK, honestly, it would really just be a little easier on me. My back leaning over, being able to adjust the bed up and down would make some things simpler. But we're managing it. Getting that bed meant that I could position my mom more easily and keep her very comfortable when she went bed bound eventually. When we got the bed, she was not yet bed bound, but it made it a lot more comfortable for both of my parents, honestly, to sleep, to be able to adjust, you know, keep their head elevated. Well, my mom was having issues with swelling in her feet, swelling in her hands. And so we were making adjustments and the bed made that a lot easier. So I'm super grateful for that. It's also a queen size bed because it was important to me to be able to keep my parents together in bed for as long as possible. And I know it is absolutely important to my dad to be able to have that. And so that was a no brainer. We never even looked at single size beds. It was always, we need a queen bed for mom and dad both. Okay. So that's the number one thing. We got a Tempur-Pedic mattress. So it has vibration to help relax my mom. At the time we got the bed, she was still having episodes, delusional episodes and some hallucinations. We were in the process of adjusting meds. Thank goodness we found the right solution there where we're not dealing with that anymore. But that the ability for the bed to vibrate would help calm her and relax her when she was going to bed. And it was a game changer. Now, next, comfort when in the bed. And this is imperative now that my mom is bed bound. The bed adjusts my mom quite a bit, but she is now fed in bed. Okay. That I know that run fed in bed. She gets her meals in bed. And it's important to really sit her upright for that. And so even though I raise the head of the bed, as far as it will go, I'm still propping her with pillows and things to keep her as much as vertical as I can while feeding her. It helps with any possibility of aspiration. If she needs to cough or clear her throat, et cetera, just reduces the concerns that come along with that. So having pillows or wedges for positioning to make that easier, a game changer. And then one of the things I got just, um, I didn't have it when we first went bed bound. So it was probably maybe a month and a half ago as I got a bed rail. My mom does not roll around in bed anymore. She cannot lift her arms or legs completely on her own any longer. She can move her feet around. She'll raise kind of her forearms and her hands. But she's not rolling over in bed or anything like that. So it wasn't so much a safety issue from her moving and falling out, but a comfort and safety issue for me knowing peace of mind. That's what it was. Peace of mind, just knowing it's there just in case, or if there's a medical issue with her and, you know, her, her body reacts in certain ways. So I just know I have that protection where she cannot fall out of the bed. And then I'm able to use it to help prop pillows for positioning and things like that as well. So that's one of the things I didn't think about getting it, but it's actually been really great to have that there on her side of the bed. Waterproof blankets and bed liners. We have a waterproof liner on the mattress. And then we have a mattress. We have an adjustable air topper on the bed. And so it will adjust between the rows and bubbles, the pressure of air. What that does is that moves around under her body to help reduce bed sores, which if you go back a few episodes, I, I talked about the battle of pressure wounds. Um, they are no joke and they can literally appear overnight and seem catastrophic at first. And that was something I tackled and I felt horrible about for a while until I realized, you know, sometimes you can do the absolute best and things are still going to happen, especially pressure sores. So, uh, give yourself grace in that area as well. But having that adjustable air mattress really has made a huge difference, shifting my mom's away around automatically every few minutes while she's in bed. It's not super drastic or loud. It's just something that can help keep her comfortable and move the pressure around throughout the day for her being bed bound now. And then the other thing, lift assist items. So a couple of months ago, we got a standing frame this well, it had to have probably been three or four months ago. Now we got a standing frame before my mom went bed bound. We were having difficulty getting out her out of the chair into her wheelchair, into the bathroom to use the restroom out of the bathroom over to the bed. And then reverse and navigating my mom trying to support her getting up from a full seated position multiple times in one little session from the living room to the bed at night was just a lot. And our physical therapist recommended that we get a standing frame that thing worth every single penny in spite of the fact that we no longer use it because my mom is now bed bound. We did use it daily for a couple of months. And it's something that I listen, Medicare covers a lot of things. And I remember talking to my mom's doctor and strategizing when do we use Medicare to get equipment we need and when don't we. And they kind of look at things like a hoyer lift, which I'm going to talk about in a moment as well, is a fantastic device. But let's say you get a hoyer lift through Medicare Medicare, which actually has a sling that will lift your person into the air. You can roll them wherever you need to be. You can get them in the shower with those onto the commode with those into a chair, all of the different things by using this device. Well, if we had went straight to that when I first asked my mom's doctor after her first hospitalization, we wouldn't have been able to get some of the other interim equipment like if we needed a new wheelchair, because they would consider her beyond that point if we approved a hoyer lift for that level of care. I don't know if that makes sense, but if you're navigating through these stages, you probably understand and you're welcome to reach out to me through the link in the show notes or in my social media on Instagram at Natalie McPhee Kime. And I'm happy to share more with you. Listen, I'm not an expert. I'm just sharing what I know has worked with my mom for my mom. So anyway, needless to say, we purchased the standing frame off Amazon on our own. It was worth every single penny for what it did. And we're hanging on to it. That and the bedside commode that we had for a while, which was a game changer and not having to try and navigate my mom who was barely mobile in and out of a small bathroom, where now we could just get her with the standing frame from her chair into a room, get her off of the standing frame onto the bedside commode. And then it was a stand and a pivot to get in bed that made that entire process so much easier for me. It was still a lot of work, absolutely. But it made things a lot easier. And there may come a time that we need those devices for my dad in the future. We already made the investment. It makes sense to hang on to him. So they're going into storage, but grateful for the help they gave. Just realize that in this process, a decline may move faster than you realize. So I would say for me, it was still worth it because again, my dad lives with me and he will continue to, you know, even if something happens to my mom. And so potential future need for that. But if you are caring for just a single individual and you don't know the timing of how long you'll need a device. Excuse me. I would maybe check into renting some of the equipment. Be sure you need it. Be sure you like it. And then maybe make the investment to have one of your own to utilize. And that's one recommendation I make is some of this stuff you can rent or borrow from somebody you know that maybe has it. And then make sure that it's going to meet the need that you have and be worth the financial investment that you make. Now, as of last week, we got our Heuer lift. Praise the Lord. This Heuer lift, it's a game changer. We requested it as soon as my mom went bed bound. But this is something else. Medicare is an insurance company. There is a process. There is an immense amount of paperwork that has to go back, different approvals. At one point, our paperwork had to be redone because my mom's doctor signed in pen and the date was typed into the form. And they're like, they both either have to be computer generated or handwritten. And so we had to redo that. Now, that was one of the shortest delays we ran into. But it was a process. It took us about five or six weeks to get that Heuer lift. But now we have it. And what does that mean? This is a lift that will literally suspend my mom up in the air. And it was kind of fun when the physical therapist came the day after we got it. And we didn't try to use it on our own. We had to step with her and make sure we were doing all the things right. And she said, I'm here to educate. So the first thing I always do is invite the family to be the patient. And so my son was the patient and myself and the physical therapist lifted him, moved him. And then my son and the physical therapist lifted and moved me. And then we did that with my dad as well. I shared some pictures on my social media. I think it was last week of that. And it was kind of a fun little thing. But now we can literally get my mom out of bed into the living room for a couple hours. We can even roll the Heuer lift out onto the back patio and get my mom outside to have some fresh air. So it's just an opportunity to truly get her into the heart of the home with the entire family. Even though her bedroom's right there, we can bring her out into the living room with us and she may sleep the whole time, but we have her there. And most importantly, my dad sits right next to her and they can hold hands. So I always love when they get those opportunities to connect like that throughout the day. But the Heuer lift, fantastic. That was something that was more expensive. We definitely wanted to use Medicare for it. And here's the thing. Medicare is going to cover... Now, my mom has two insurances and so it covered 100% of that. I don't know if that was Medicare alone or if it was the two of them combined that covered 100%, but we didn't have to pay out of pocket. But even so, Medicare is going to cover the majority of that either way. And so at the end of the day, there is also an electronic version. And I talked to my niece who was a nurse and she's like, "Look, we don't have any of the auto ones at the hospital. They're all the crank ones and they're really not that bad to use." And so when the place called to talk to us about what exactly we wanted, I asked the question about what's the difference in cost if we want the automatic or electric one. It's $1,000. Okay, the lift costs about $1,000 to$1,200 to begin with. So to add another $1,000 to that, I talked to my dad about it and we're like, "No, it just doesn't make sense." So we went with the manual one and it does work great. It is very easy to use. So if any of you are wondering about which way to go on that or when the time comes, the manual ones are very simple to crank. It doesn't take a ton of energy or strength to be able to do that. My dad was even able to crank it up and he's 84 and while he is still able bodied, he's 84. So there you go. Amazing tools, amazing things, so grateful that we have those resources. The next thing I want to talk about is hygiene and bathing. My mom gets bed baths now because one of my caregiving friends on social media shared the soap and shampoo infused cloths you can buy. I get mine off Amazon. I don't remember if that's where she said she got hers. I think so. But you can buy them in packs. All you do is dip it in water. It will suds up, but they are no dry bath sponges. So what that means is you get it wet, you wash your person down, all you do is dry them off with a towel. There is no rinsing involved. Those have been a game changer, absolutely must haves. We use them. Oh goodness, I just hit my microphone. We use them even before mom went bed bound for some cleanups. And I mean, we weren't doing a full shower every day. So it was the little cleanup in the mornings and stuff that we would use them for. I absolutely love those things. I didn't use the rinse free shampoo caps. I've actually heard through caregiving groups I am that they almost leave the hair looking kind of greasy and not truly clean. But you can use those wipes I was talking about to wash hair also. And I did that a couple times. But then, y'all, I bought one of my favorite things I have. I think it cost only like 20 or 25 bucks, but it is an inflatable shampoo, inflatable shampoo basin. Also got it on Amazon. If you want links, reach out to me. I'll be happy to send you the exact ones I get of all the things I'm talking about. But it turns the bed into a salon. I literally lift her head, remove her pillow, slide the sink under. It has a little tiny baby pillow that supports her head. And it is literally like her head is in the sink at a salon to wash her hair. So it elevates her head for me to make it easier. It blows up so you can take the air out, put it away. It has a tube that connects from the drain. You pop the plug, the water will drain down into a bucket for you. And so I fill the bucket, wet my mom's hair, shampoo it, rinse my mom's hair, and then I put the bucket on the floor, undo the drain, and the water goes out through the tube down back into the bucket. And my mom gets to just relax the whole time. But what my mom gets more than that is a thorough hair washing. And I think everybody enjoys a good hair wash at the barber or the salon. That nice shampoo massage that you get. My mom has always absolutely loved them. So to be able to still give her that experience at home, I absolutely love. And her hair is very clean. I don't have to worry about any residue or anything. And so it's kind of meeting in the middle. She gets a normal hair wash and her baths are a little different than they used to be. You adjust, you pivot, you do what you need to do to meet the circumstances that you're in. The next thing, gloves. I have rubber gloves on hand. When I wake my mom up in the morning, I put on a pair of rubber gloves for all of her cleanup, her hygiene, all of those kind of things. One, because sometimes there's messes you're cleaning up. Let's be real. In my case, absolutely there. But also, just as I'm cleaning her up and everything, just to know that I'm protecting her from any germs that I could be carrying on my skin or something like that is important too, because it is so easy for our elderly loved ones to get infections, to get sick and things like that. So to just give that little bit of protection for her as well. And so I've always got a box of gloves there. Barrier creams, absolute, absolute necessity. If you have a person that is sitting a lot, which my mom was before going bed bound, is when she started getting pressure sores on her bottom. And it was when she first got them, she had not converted to fully wearing briefs yet. But those barrier creams that help protect the skin before you get the sores are a game changer. I have a spray. I can spray on her bottom and even wipe. So when her skin looks healthy and great, I can just put that on. It helps keep the moisture away to reduce some of that. But when she does get a pressure wound, Manuka Honey, I cannot remember the brand of the cream I use. Again, reach out to me. I'll send you any of the links or pictures of what exactly we use and where I get it from. I'm happy to do that. But the Manuka Honey, when it's an open wound, that can help really progress the healing process. And once the new skin starts to close over, I switch to an actual barrier cream that helps dry it out to finish healing so that moisture doesn't continue to get in there and keep that that skin even more easily damaged. I think that made sense. I also, sacrum bandages, always have them in stock. They are always stocked in my cabinet. And then towels. I have hand towels. We bought like eight, ten, twelve, I don't know, hand towels when we took my mom bed down. There are certain towels, certain colors, certain design. Those are mom's towels. So they get washed. They go back in her dresser where I can just grab them there at my fingertips when I need them. So towels everywhere. I have a box of Kleenex and I have a box or a package of baby wipes right on the dresser for spills when I'm feeding her. If she coughs, if she sneezes, like I've got things right at my fingertips where I need them. And my setup is mom's personal care items are in her dresser organized from top to bottom drawer in the order that I use them throughout the process of getting her cleaned up and ready every day. All of the supplies are in a thin, tall standing bookshelf that goes from the bottom has bed pads, then it has her briefs. Then we have her pure wicks and her disposable infused bath sponges. We have on the next shelf is all of the barrier creams, sacrum bandages, the little spongy things I use to wet her mouth and brush her teeth with sometimes if she won't let me use her toothbrush on her. So everything goes from bottom to top in her dresser. It's all organized top to bottom. So I have a routine when I walk in in the morning, I massage her feet, her legs, her hands and her arms to help start waking her up. I say good morning and I take the quilt off of her so she can adjust to the temperature. And then I stack everything across the dresser from left to right in the order I'm going to use each thing. So I literally can go to one from one process to another and cleaning mom up and getting her ready. All of those things have made it so much easier for me to go through that process to make sure I don't forget a step and to walk away feeling like I'm giving my mom the absolute best care, which is what she deserves. So there you go. There are other little things here and there that we use when necessary, but those are the main things I'm using from a hygiene and bathing perspective. Now, medication management, I use a spreadsheet. I have everything lined out. It literally says the name of the medication, what it's for, how often they get it, a description of the pill, the milligrams that it is, the time of day that they get it. So I have this for both my mom and my dad. My dad still manages his meds, but I manage all of my moms. When a new med gets added, I add a line with all that stuff in there. If a medication gets taken away, I delete it immediately. So there's no confusion and I'm staying on top of that. It also helps me manage when I need to confirm the doctor sent refills in for us. That is a game changer. It's so easy for me to sit down with that every week. I just open a bottle, pull out the pills. I know exactly which ones they go in morning or night, how many times a day, sometimes both, whatever. I've got my little organizer and I stack it for a week. So it takes me about 15 minutes at most to load that thing, but it's all right there. I don't have to go through every bottle and double check my spreadsheet every single day. I do it once a week and it's set up and ready for me to go. Pill crushers. Here's my thing. The first thing I did is I went to Amazon. It is the perfect example of an impulse buy and then realizing this thing doesn't work like I thought. I got one of those twisty ones. Here's the thing. When you are crushing medications with any device, because now we have an automated one, some of the residue from the pills were built up in there. In those, I had a plastic twist one. After about two times, you had to completely clean that sucker out and they are kind of tiny spaces. So not super easy to clean, but otherwise it would start squeaking, sticking, not fully crushing the pills. So I think I went through a week or two of wrestling with that thing. And then I got back on Amazon and I found an automated one that has a blade that spins the pills. That sucker crushes like nothing I've ever seen. Again, you still got to use the brush to brush everything out and I'm still wiping it out fully. I'm probably cleaning it probably every, probably twice a week just to keep from that buildup and knowing that I'm getting all of the medication out when I'm, when I'm sweeping it with the little brush out to mix in with my mom's food. Okay. Medicine cups and syringes. I don't use medicine cups. We're crushing all of our pills. Even when they were pills, I used a medicine cup. They were just in the pill organizer. And so we'd get out and give my mom what, what she needed at certain times, but syringes y'all. My entire life right now is syringes. My mom is fully fed and hydrated through syringes. They have been a game changer. I know on my socials and probably on previous episodes, I've talked about the struggles in keeping my mom fed and hydrated. That is the thing that will tear me apart as a caregiver super quick. And on Mother's Day, I was on the struggle bus in general. In addition to that, mom was not eating and I looked at my dad and I said, I don't know how much longer I can do this because I don't know how to stand by and watch her starve. And the truth is that was my exaggerated reaction to one of my biggest fears. In reality, I just had to shift the mode in which I was delivering food to my mom. And with those shifts, we have now gotten ourselves to the point where it's full syringe feeding and hydration, but it is 10 times easier for her as well as for me. Feedings don't take forever. It's not a, come on, mom, trying to coax her. It's if she opens her mouth, I can put the syringe in there. If not, I can slide it down the side of her mouth and just slowly get that food and those things into her. I try to always get her to cooperate, but I'm able to still make sure my mom's being hydrated and fed even when she's less cooperative. Okay. Prior to that, we were using the spill proof cups. We went through a point where she would still suck out of a straw and then she stopped sucking out of the straw. And so it was more of the screw on, not sippy cups. We never went to sippy cups, but they had the little flip thing. I mean, honestly, they probably are a little bit like an adult sippy cup to even a point I was using a home. So when you make homemade salad dressing, you can get these cute little bottles and it has a little spout on it and you can pour the salad dressing out. Well, we have two of those. And there was a point that the way my mom was drinking, I needed a pointed spout to kind of help. And I started using those and they were fantastic. Those were the last cups that I used before we went to syringe hydration. I adjusted at one point to the baby spoons, the full soft adjustable ones, because my mom bit off part of a plastic spoon and I had to pry her teeth open to get it out of her mouth before she swallowed it. And it was very sharp. And so then using metallic silverware, my mom would bite down and I was afraid of her damaging her teeth. And so we went to some of the silicone spoons, absolutely loved them. And they are also kind of adjustable so you can adjust them to get the angle you need to feed your person. I am very regimented with my mom's schedule. That is super important. She gets medications at certain times, she gets fed at certain times, she gets adjusted at certain times. Build that into your calendar. It will save you a ton of time, a ton of stress, and just keep your day moving and flowing because then you can build everything else around that schedule. Organizing and restocks weekly. I have cabinets that all my backup stock is in. I always have an extra of everything on hand because when I grab the extra out, I know it's time to reorder. So when I unpack it, I take the wrapper, I set it on the couch and that very day I will reorder that item so that I never run into a situation where I run out of something that I need to keep my mom healthy and comfortable in the caregiving process. So again, peace of mind, never stressing out trying to do things at the last minute. I've got a full restock when I take the last one out of the cabinet, I reorder. And when I reorder, I reorder too because by the time it gets here, I may need a replacement and then I still have one to go in the cabinet. Put everything you can on auto order that you know you need on a regular basis. For example, my mom's Purewix. I have those on auto ship so that we never run out of those as well. And again, when we put her on the Purewix, I got two boxes of the Purewix so we always have overstock just in case as well. You never know when there's going to be delay in shipping, weather issues or something like that. So organizing and restocking, not just the medications, that's super important. I have a method for that. It's all in one tub. They're organized by day and night. And when I am filling her containers, that is when if I look in the bottle and I know I have a few days worth left but not enough for maybe a whole week or just a week, I'm immediately pulling up my phone, sending an email to her doctor asking for verification of refills. So that keeps me focused on that. But those organizing and restocks for my supplies I use just to care for my mom, also game changer. We already talked about the hydration and feeding. I really talked about that when I got to syringes because I guess I got maybe a little overexcited because they've been such a game changer for us the last couple weeks. But be willing to shift. We went to pureed. We also went to a lot of liquids for my mom. But what I found out is that regular, what do you call it? Like water. It's a thin liquid, right? Sometimes that's very easy to aspirate or to over administer more than they can swallow or whatever. And so I use something called thicket that I also got on Amazon. Thank you, Amazon. This is not an ad, but maybe I don't know if Amazon sponsors people maybe send me an Amazon gift card or something. Jeff Bezos. But that being said, thicket is a powder and my niece told me about this where you can thicken any liquid. It's kind of like cornstarch for gravy. You can actually use thicket when you're cooking. There's no medication or anything in it. So I use thicket to thicken her water to more of a nectar texture. Same with her juices. So drinks and thin liquids get thickened to make it easier. You also get a more distinctive swallow out of them so that you know they've cleared that food or drink in their mouth. And that's a game changer to like choking. I hate the idea of that. Protein drinks are great. Some of them are thinner than others. You can always add some thicket to those. But at the end of the day, y'all, it's trial and error for those frustrating moments. And even through trial and error, finding things that work for me, I found cups that work that lasted a week or two. Then all of a sudden, we didn't like cups anymore. So then I was able to get her to use a straw. And after a couple weeks, we weren't sucking through a straw anymore. So it's ever changing. Be fluid, be adjustable. And most importantly, what I had to learn was to stop expecting my mom to meet me where I was and what I wanted for her food and hydration and to meet her where she was. I needed to meet her where she was. I needed to slow down. I needed to pure weight her food to make it easier to eat. I needed to thicken her liquids to make it easier to drink. I remember one day I just, I think this was the mother state incident too. I went out on the back porch and I was just sobbing. I felt like a horrible caregiver because I was getting frustrated with her. I felt like a horrible caregiver because I couldn't hydrate and feed her. And what if she was laying there hungry and couldn't tell me? I literally was spiraling y'all. And I went out on the back porch and I was just crying. And for me, I'm a woman of faith. And I just prayed, Lord, help me figure out how to do this better. Help me figure this out. Because if I feel like this, I can't imagine what that is putting on my mom. She can feel it. She can sense it. And so every feeding situation was difficult. And I remember sitting there after a few minutes, I just felt this calm pass over me. And the only thing I could think about was start meeting her where she is. And that is when I started having conversations asking for recommendations and about the time that my niece said, what if you started using syringes more? To fill in the gaps where she won't use a spoon. And here we are a month later. And we're not using spoons at all. We are full syringes. And again, you're going to adjust to your person and what is shifting and changing with them. But give yourself some grace and meet them where they are. I also learned that if my mom is being really resistant even to the syringe, I'll walk away for 15 minutes, 30 minutes, and then come back and finish feeding her the rest of the meal. So I've had to create my schedule some flexibility around meals times. Sometimes last night, the last two or three nights, she's eaten dinner like a champ. But before that, we were pacing it. It was taking anywhere from an hour to two hours to get her all the way through her dinner. So give yourself some grace, make some adjustments where needed to. And then the last thing I want to talk about is I have a rolling table in my mom's bed that's similar to a hospital tray where I can line things out. Super helpful when feeding because I can move the food right over her on the tray. My mom is not smacking trays or knocking food over anything. So I can put that right over her in the bed and there's less transition from filling a spoon, filling a syringe, whatever it is, and getting it back into my mom and keeping the pace going where she's at with eating. So that game changer. Drawer labels. I know where everything is. However, I am about to travel for work for a couple days locally here, but it's still a couple hours away. And we're going to have some support caregivers to do some of the more in-depth things for my mom while I'm gone for those couple of days. So I met with the gentleman today. We've got everything lined up, but I will be labeling drawers and cabinets and backup supplies and things. I will be prepping food ahead of time and have it organized and labeled in the fridge. Also another brilliant thing I learned from one of my caregiving friends that I'm so grateful she's willing to share at the level that she does because it has saved me so many times in my caregiving journey. So we will be putting labels on there, but honestly, I think that's kind of great. It helps the people that are in my home, my boyfriend, my son, my dad, to find things they need easier to. They don't have to ask me where something is. They'll just be able to see. So actually, I think in the long run, I'm doing that because we've got these support caregivers coming in, but I think it's actually going to help in some other ways. And then laundry systems. My sweet dad handles all the laundry. So he's pretty good about cycling everything through to make sure we always have clean gowns, clean towels for mom. Trash systems. My dad is cute when I'm getting mom ready for bed, when I'm changing her, when I'm getting her up, changing her. My dad, his job is to hold mom in positions I need her in to stabilize her while I'm cleaning her up. And then he's my trash man. So he gets a bag and he stands there and he waits for me to hand him things, takes care of it, and then takes everything out to the bin when we're finished. So that is huge to have an assistant. If you don't have that, set something up for yourself. Put the trash in the room, have replacement bags and things like that in case it's dirty or stinky things that you need to get outside of the home as soon as you finish a process. But do your best to keep things at your fingertips. It's less stressful when there is a mess to clean up, when something gets spilled, when somebody gets sick or something like that. But make sure everything has a home so it doesn't feel cluttered and overwhelming. There is enough of that in this process. So look, you guys, I hope this information I shared with you today made a difference for you. Most of what I've purchased because I followed other caregivers and I'm in caregiving groups asking questions, I don't feel like I've wasted a ton of money in those things. I haven't had a lot of things that wouldn't work great. I don't like the hand pill crushers. Don't waste your time there, y'all. But that's why I say if you're wondering what comes next, what you might need, get in those groups and ask. Talk about where your person is at and people will share kind of what steps they went through in those processes. So you can have an idea of what you need. It doesn't mean go out and buy it all because you may not actually need it. It just means get an idea, kind of look around, check on pricing. That really helps you from a budget perspective. You know me, I'm the finance girl. So I'm always going to help you look for ways to save money and things like that along the way. But I hope the information I shared with you today helps in some way to organize and set up your caregiving space in a way that works for you. It doesn't need to look like mine and nobody else's opinion about it matters. If they're not in their hands on doing the work, they can be quiet. If somebody tells you this room looks like a mesh, you got all this stuff out everywhere. Well, you know what? You come and go through the process. They won't. I promise you that. But what you can set up to keep things at your fingertips is an absolute game changer. So take advantage of opportunities to do that. Rearrange things and organize them in the steps that you go because then you don't have to stop and think,"Oh, did I do this thing?" It's right there in front of you. You go from step to step to step. That brings a lot of pieces of caregiver, at least for me. My hot take for this week, caregiving is not just emotional labor. It's operation and labor. You become the nurse, the organizer, the purchaser, the scheduler, the pharmacist, the cleaner, the nutritionist, then crisis manager all at once. You absolutely need to build systems to survive all of that, to keep some semblance of sanity along the way. Having systems for certain things does not make you cold and calculated. It makes you smart. It saves you time so that you can pour into your person and offer them the emotional support and care more than the clinical stuff, in my opinion. And that's where you can still find moments of joy and build memories, even through a difficult and heavy caregiving process. I want to thank you guys for being with me again this week on Chat With Nat, conversations that count. Next week, I am going to be going a little more in depth about some of the other things that helped me as a caregiver. That's as much of a teaser you're getting this week, but I hope you'll join me next week to kind of dive deep into some of those things. And I would like to ask you guys, please click on the link in the show notes or go to my social media on Instagram Natalie McPhee-Kheim and tell me one of your best favorite game changer caregiving products or setup hacks that you've come up with because as caregivers, we learn better from each other. So until next week, take care, stay safe, and I look forward to meeting up with you again.