Caregiver Hacks for Dementia Care: Simple Systems That Save Time and Stress

Nobody trains you for caregiving. Most family caregivers learn through exhaustion, trial and error, online research, caregiver groups, and doing the best they can in the moment.

In this practical and deeply personal episode of Chat with Nat, Natalie Kime shares the caregiver hacks, routines, shortcuts, and sanity savers that have helped her care for her mom through dementia progression and hospice care at home.

This episode builds on last week’s conversation about Natalie’s caregiving setup. This week, she goes deeper into the systems that reduce decision fatigue, make home care more manageable, simplify medication and supply routines, support feeding and hydration, and help caregivers protect their own physical and emotional health.

From calendar reminders and grocery delivery to soft spoons, syringe feeding, paper plates, caregiver support, music during care routines, and learning to meet your loved one where they are, this episode is full of real-life advice for caregivers who need help making daily life a little easier.

What You Will Hear

• Why caregiving routines reduce mental load and decision fatigue
• How to create systems for medication, feeding, supplies, and appointments
• Why calendar reminders and weekly prep time can reduce caregiver overwhelm
• How to build a supply restock system so you do not run out of essentials
• Food and hydration tips for dementia caregiving
• How Natalie adapted feeding tools as her mom’s needs changed
• Why asking questions and learning from other caregivers matters
• Simple home caregiving hacks, including paper plates and grocery delivery
• Why caregivers need supportive shoes, hydration, snacks, and rest too
• How to ask friends and family for specific help
• Why music, humor, and normal conversation can shift care routines
• How to stop striving for perfection as a caregiver
• Why meeting your loved one where they are can change everything

Caregiving is not about doing everything perfectly. It is about creating enough support, structure, and simplicity to keep showing up with love.

Today’s episode is brought to you by Casa De Confidence Productions, helping podcasters confidently share conversations that matter.

Thank you for listening to Chat With Nat: Caregiving, Money & Real Life Solutions. This podcast is your trusted guide for caregiving strategies, caregiver support, long-distance caregiving tips, financial planning for families, and managing caregiver burnout. Each week, we provide actionable advice, expert interviews, real caregiver stories, and practical tools to help you navigate caregiving challenges, protect your finances, and care with confidence.

Whether you’re caring for aging parents, managing adult children with special needs, or balancing caregiving with work, Chat With Nat is here to help you care smarter, avoid burnout, and feel supported every step of the way.

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Transcript

1:00:00

Nobody trains you for caregiving. You learn through exhaustion, through trial and error, and honestly, through desperation. So today I'm sharing the caregiver hacks, systems, shortcuts, and sanity savers that have made life easier in our home and for me.(Upbeat Music) Welcome back to Chat With Nat, conversations that count. The podcast where we talk about money, caregiving, legacy, faith, family, and all of the conversations that truly count. Today's episode is brought to you by Casa De Confidence Productions. Julie and Dan Collins are the kind of team that every podcaster dreams of. They're knowledgeable, they're supportive, they're incredibly talented at helping your voice come through clearly and confidently. If you've ever thought, maybe I should start a podcast, go over to casa deconfidence.website and connect with Julie and Dan to see what that could look like for you. This week's money tip, saving time is saving money when you're caregiving because burnout costs something too. It costs you your health, your sleep, your mental clarity, and sometimes even your income. This week I wanna dive a little bit. Last week I really talked about my caregiving setup, how I have things set up in my mom's room to make the caregiving process, the hands-on things I do for her a little bit easier. And I teased at the end of last week's episode that this week I would be diving into some specific systems and things that I use beyond what I talked about last week. So if you didn't listen to last week's episode, hop on over, listen to that one first, and then pop back in over here. I think they'll tie together really well. This week I wanna talk about why routines matter. Number one, it reduces your mental load. As a caregiver, who knows what's going on in the rest of your life? You already might be carrying the weight of the world, but as a caregiver, it just compounds. So reducing that mental load, that overwhelm that we can often feel as caregivers is really important however we can. And decision fatigue, that is real as well. So when I'm talking about reducing mental load, let me hop back to that a little bit. It is not having to think about every task. So like I mentioned last week, I talked about the way I have things set up in my mom's room so that I can grab what I need, line it up on her tray table in the order I'm gonna use it. And it means that when I'm in there, I'm just focusing on keeping her comfortable, getting her clean, talking to her, reassuring her through the process, not about what do I need next or where is A, B, C or D, right? So it's reducing that mental load in the moment because that hands-on stuff we do as caregivers weighs on us, not just physically, emotionally and therefore mentally as well. And then decision fatigue. If you have stuff all over the place, you don't have things organized, even trying to figure out what do I do next or when am I going to do this can completely derail you. I have been there on days that, and I do have a routine, but there are some days that just throw you off. And then there are maybe declines in the health of our person. There's maybe new tools or new supplies or things like that. For example, my mom was still toileting and dressing herself and tell about her hospitalization in early February, okay? Maybe we helped her just to hair, navigating getting in and out of the bathroom or picking her clothes out and giving them to her to put on, but she was still doing all of that. My mom now, solely bed bound. So I'm changing briefs. I'm adjusting her position in bed to avoid pressure wounds. I am dressing her. I am bathing her all in the bed, even washing her hair. Okay, so when you're trying to figure out, like you're already overwhelmed with the day today. If you're honest as a caregiver, there's something or many things every single day that can overwhelm you. So when you have a decision to make about what's next or how do I do this or what equipment do I need or what's the best, whatever, having systems in place for the things you already do, having routines in place for the things you already do, make the new things you have to add in a little bit less stressful, a little bit less overwhelming because you've got everything else organized. You've got your schedule organized. Now for me, my mom going bed bound shifted the times of day that I was spending the most time caregiving and extended the amount of time I needed, right? But because I already had things set up, because I am very meticulous with my schedule, I was able to shift things around as that change happened because remember, I'm a business owner. I'm building a business and working with clients from home as well. But I was able to seeing what was coming, start planning for that, start adjusting or time blocking my schedule to allow for what my mom was gonna need in the new season and shift, I mean pretty fluidly, I would say, into that. There were maybe for the first week or so, juggling things around a little bit because I already had appointments with clients and team members scheduled, but for the most part, I was able to do that pretty smoothly. And then there's when home health started coming in. They have their schedules too. And so creating that routine of what days, which person is gonna be coming, making sure that I am available to assist or just inform of new changes or anything else that has happened, I liked being a part of all of those things. And so I made sure that those were scheduled in as well. But even when it comes to supplies, oh, which cream for pressure source is the best? Oh, which process for turning my mom is the best? Or how do I even perform a bed bath? How do I wash her hair in bed? How do I, all of the things, right? It is overwhelming. For me, I was sitting there trying to figure this out and I went to YouTube. Y'all, there are so many educational videos on YouTube for caregivers. That's exactly how I figured out how to roll my mom properly and safely and roll up all the old stuff. Cleaned her up, getting ready to change her brief. So rolling up all the old stuff underneath her, tucking the new stuff under that and then rolling her back towards me where I could just pull out everything else on the other side. And so there are tons of resources out there. Just go Google bed bathing an elderly person or changing an elderly person that is bed bound. I mean, there's so many things. So instead of sitting and feeling overwhelmed, go look for those resources, schedule some time for yourself to continue learning in the caregiver process. That was something that made a ton of difference for me. I was always a student, reading a book, listening to a podcast, watching videos, having conversations in the caregiver giving groups I'm in to support others based on what I've already been through, but also asking questions for where I knew I was going next. Okay. And then automating those repetitive tasks, the things that you do all of the time, do as much as you can to automate that. Put things in place that make that easily manageable for you within all of the other things that you're going. Some of the things that I utilize, I have a medication spreadsheet for my mom and my dad. Now my dad still manages his own meds, but as I was putting that together for my mom, it just made sense to do it for my dad. So I knew what he had when he was taking it. And I can just ask him where he's at. I was also added to all the emails for the refills of his medication. So I can make sure that we're on top of that. And then of course, I was running that process for my mom. So sorting her pills, organizing things, updating the spreadsheet based on medication changes, and monitoring refills, communicating needs, et cetera. So that medication spreadsheet made that very easy for me. What she takes, what milligrams, what the pill looks like, how often she takes it, all of the things in there. So it made it really easy for me to pop that open when I first started sorting her pills to make sure she was getting the right pills at the right times. That's why I put those descriptions in there. Okay. Calendar reminders. Put little reminders on your calendar. This is part of automating things. Excuse me. Feeding times, medication times, doctor's appointments, bathing, whatever it might be. Just give mom a drink. Put little reminders in your calendar for those things. And then create prep times. So for me and my business Sunday afternoons, I always take some time and I plan out my whole week. What do I already have on my calendar? In my personal life, in my professional life, what are those things do I need to add? Hey, have I not gotten out of the house to get, you know, some fresh air, to maybe grab coffee with a friend, just reset myself? What are the days and times I have for that so that I can reach out to people and see if I can set something up, or even to, you know, go for a walk or go do something with my dad. So I'm identifying that on the weekend for the week ahead. And then I know where my windows are, that additional things can get scheduled into. My team is looking at my calendar. It's updated so they know I'm really available at those times that they're looking at, et cetera. And so the same with medications. I would sit down with mom's medications on Sundays and I would fill up her little medication flip top tray and had everything sorted for the week. So I didn't have to, in the morning, pull out all the bottles, take out all the pills, double check my spreadsheet and then give them to her. It was all prepped and ready to go. And it would only take me about 15, 20 minutes to do medications, if that. So automating some of those things, taking the time in a single window to prep for something repetitive throughout the week made it easier to know you had everything ready. Once a week, I stock all of the supplies in my mom's room as well. Make sure I have what I need so it's easy to grab each day. And then also have supply inventory lists. Now, look, here's how I did my supplies. I have a separate cabinet. Everything I use for my mom, I have an extra of. And it's all in that cabinet. It's all in one place. So when I go into that cabinet and I pull out the extra cream for her pressure wounds, pressure sores, whatever you call them, and I pull out that last one, then I immediately go in to my Amazon and I add a new one into my cart. And when I pull out the last pack of sacrum bandages for her, I go into my Amazon and I add it to the cart. So each thing, when I pull out the one in the cabinet, I know that I've probably, I think everything in there probably gives me about two weeks of supplies. So I knew if I was ordering it, I would get it back in inventory. But here's the thing, when I ordered it, I would order two. Excuse me. So that by the time it came, I was probably gonna need it right away, if not pretty quickly, and I still had a backup. So create either an inventory list that you can check off and pull down once a week and see what you need to reorder or a system where you can visually put your eyes and hands on it like I did. That's what worked for me. And when I took it out of that cupboard, I knew it was the last one. And so it went on my list to reorder. Just little things that can really help you with that. Now, next I wanna talk about hydration and food hacks. You guys, this has been a constant shifting of the sand. I don't know what else to call it. It's been perpetual motion in this area ever since my mom's hospitalization the end of December. The types of food she was eating, the way it had to be prepped, like was it minced and moist? Was it pureed? We went and then to the point that it is now all liquid. And so how can you prep for that? Well, you can do a meal prep day if you are making all their food. And at least if not make whole recipes that you can split up. My friend Jessica does that for her mom. She preps, I think it's on Saturdays or Sunday, she preps all the food for the week. She has it in all organized, put together in the individual meals, labeled and then in the fridge. That was something that I've never loved meal prepping, y'all, let me be honest. So I had to figure out the things that worked for me. I use very easy to make high protein, high fiber things for my mom. And I wanted to make sure they were healthy as possible. And so did I prep some things? Yes, like proteins, I would meal prep my proteins for the week, but then I could throw them into whatever else. Once we got to the point of puree, it was really easy. I could just throw everything in there, blend it up, add a little extra water. Even when we went to liquids, unfortunately the options get fewer, but in some ways there are things about it that make things easily. So you wanna think about those things. What are you doing in the process of hydrating and feeding your person that maybe takes some time? Now, one of the things that was a big struggle, I'll say for mom and I was, it was like from week to week, she wouldn't drink out of the cup, she was just drinking out of the week before. And I don't mean cause it wasn't clean or I couldn't find it. She wouldn't drink out of that style of cup. So for the longest time, her and my dad have had those like water canisters with the flip up straw. They drank out of them just fine. Suddenly my mom would not suck out of the straw that was attached to the lid on this. So we went back to a regular open top cup, just a smaller cup that she could hold. I would just put enough in it for whatever she was drinking right then instead of setting it out open where whatever, it could get knocked over, things could get dropped in it, whatever, right? And so I would just put a little bit at a time in it. Then all of a sudden she wouldn't drink out of that. And so then I went to a traditional straw and she really liked the thin straws. Then she went to the, what are they called? They're kind of like the rubber straws. I don't know that they're rubber, but anyway, the flexible straws, those worked for a week or two. Then we went from a regular spoon that she was using to feed herself to me feeding her, to her trying to bite the metal spoons. I'm like, mom's gonna break a tooth. So we went from metal spoons to plastic spoons. It was great for a couple of weeks. And then one day she bit off a sharp shard of a plastic spoon and I had to literally pry my mom's mouth open to get it out before she swallowed it. So at that point we went to those soft squishy baby spoons. And from there we went to syringe feeding. So what are those things you're doing? How involved are you in the eating process? If they're still eating regular food feeding themselves, it stays pretty simple. But when you start shifting to some of those other things, try using the different cups. Think about straw positioning. I almost think for my mom, when she quit using the flip-up straw, but a couple of weeks later wanted a regular straw, for her, in her memory digression, I don't know if she could still look at a traditional straw and recognize it was a straw and you suck out of it, where the other one, she didn't know what to do with it, because those kinds of cups and things are more common in the last few years. There's also crushing pills. And I talked about the pill crusher that I now have. And the first one I got in last week's episode. So again, if you haven't listened to it last week's episode, go back and listen to it. But crushing pills properly, dissolving them properly. What kinds of, one of the things that first is I would mix my mom's pill into an entire yogurt. And then I was stressed out if she wouldn't eat the whole yogurt because she didn't get all of her meds that way. Well, I was talking to one of my home health people one day and the speech therapist and she said, if you're giving her a yogurt or something bigger, scoop out just like a tablespoon of it. Mix her pills in that, feed her that first, and then move on into the rest of the meal. And you won't be so worried if she doesn't finish it, you can cover it, put it in the fridge, get back to it later. So there are those things that I didn't get right in the beginning. Lots of the things I didn't get right. Be a question asker. That is how I learned a ton of information or got directed to resources that helped me in different areas of caregiving. So if you're wondering about whether you can mix medications, like your person gets on a new medication or maybe they've been having headaches, can I give them Tylenol? Can I give them Advil? Whatever it is, talk to their pharmacist or their PCP and ask before you just start giving them everything that you might give a normal healthy person who has a cold or a fever or something like that. And then when mom started being more clumsy is the word that comes to mind, but less able to control her movements, there would be more spills and things like that. Excuse me. Initially when she was still feeding herself, I would just use a towel and I would put it across her, tuck it in like a really big napkin. And that way it caught most of the mess. The other thing is once I started feeding her, then it was I got some adult bibs because even in syringe feeding you get drips. There were times that would run out of her mouth. There was a couple of times she coughed while I was feeding her and literally food went flying all across the bed and I was washing all the bedding too. So some of the things you can't control, but there are some things that you can put in place that makes it just a little bit easier even for the cleanup process. See, I could just take that towel off mom. I could throw it straight into the laundry basket and we were good to go. Instead of having to scrub messes out of her clothes or the chair or the carpet or whatever. And that really helped. My mom went from sitting at the table eating to sitting in her chair with a TV tray. So I would also prop her really upright. So she was eating over the tray and put a couple pillows behind her back. That made it easier for her to eat and control the food and less distance. My mom does have a little bit of a tremor, sometimes worse than others. And so to be able to control the silverware or the distance between the food and her mouth was as minimal as possible because I had propped her up to where she was right over the TV tray just like as if she was tucked in at a table with a chair. So little things like that, you may not think about it first, but they're game changers and they're super easy. There was a point that I literally used. I have these little jars with screw on tops. They're hard plastic and they're for homemade salad dressing. So when you make up a salad dressing, you can put it in this and then you serve it from that. And it has a little spout. For about three weeks, that was the only thing my mom would drink out of. It was a game changer. So the last time we stopped straws, we moved to those and then we went to syringes from there. So be willing to work with your person and ask questions of any support people you have coming on your home, other caregivers for things they might have done. The best resources out there are other people literally walking the same path as you as a caregiver. Here at our house nowadays, my mom was in the hospital again the beginning of this last week and she has now come home on hospice and comfort care only. Our time with her is short at this point, but we are cherishing every moment of it. Her intake is very minimal, both food and water. So we are celebrating every single sip that we get into her. My mom for breakfast every day has melted ice cream because that's what she will eat. And I know I'm getting a little bit into her and every little bit we get into her is hopefully just a little bit more time. We know that at this point where her body is, there's nothing we can do to greatly extend the time. And honestly, we don't want to do that to her, but for as long as she is here, we'll wanna provide her as much as it is that she wants. And sometimes it's a sip or two and sometimes it's five or six. The emotional roller coaster of getting somebody to eat is intense. It is one of the, I love roller coasters by the way and it's one of the craziest ones I've been on, especially when you think about the guilt. Over the last month, I have struggled to get my mom all the way through meals. And sometimes I mentioned this last week too, it can take an hour or two, or it was taking an hour or two because in my mind, I was thinking, if I don't feed my mom this whole meal, she's sitting there hungry and she can't tell me. And I could not wrap my head around the fact that my mom might be sitting there starving and I don't know it. And so there were times I'd pushed her to get through meals and I remember one day I was so frustrated, went on the back porch and I had tears running down my face and I'm just like, Lord, how do I do this? I feel like I'm doing my best, but I feel like I'm just like the food Nazi. And I remember just feeling so strongly a little while later, meet her where she's at. And so that's where if she would take four or five bites or four or five swallows from the syringe, I'd walk away and I'd come back 15 minutes later or 30 minutes later and we'd give her a little bit more. And that is where we got to kind of that two hour timeframe of feeding her sometimes, but it was about remembering to meet her where she's at. And so in each area of caregiving, I would recommend that for you. When it starts getting really frustrating and you're trying to control it and nothing's working, maybe step back, take a deep breath and say, where is my person at? And how do I need to meet them there? Instead of expecting them to meet me where I'm at, especially when you're talking about memory care. There is guilt around every corner to this day, there is guilt of did I feed mom enough? Did I try to push it too hard? Did all of the things, right? And now here we are. And I'm looking at my mom in bed every day, cherishing every moment. So grateful we still have her for however long the good Lord chooses to leave her here with us and realizing that whatever it is, it is, but I get to walk her right up to the doors of heaven. And that is an honor. And so when it gets heavy and when it gets hard and when the tears start rolling and when it feels overwhelming to think about her being gone, I shift and I think about what's coming next for her, not what's coming next for me. And I have seen her digress over the last four years into a body that no longer works, into a mind that is confused, into a position where she can't communicate. And I don't want that for her forever. So stop beating yourself up and think about your person. It is easy to think about how hard it is, frustrating how many hours you missed at work or how many other things you're trying to accomplish. Focus on your person and what you are able to do for them, whether it's a lot one day or a little bit one day, but stop beating yourself up and stop beating them up for that frustration and that anger we feel, we all have it. And I think we all probably hate it to some degree. But they can't help it. And so stopping to remember that, I think all the time my mom would hate where she's at. The last few months my brother and I have talked about it so much. And so just give yourself some grace, but also give that to your person. Because I don't think that they would probably love all that you're having to do for them and being in the position where they can't do it for themselves. I kind of went down a little bit of a rabbit hole there. Sorry about that. But I'm a believer that whatever comes out in this podcast is meant to share. And so I hope that what I just shared there makes a difference for somebody when they listen to this episode. A couple of self-preservation tips I want to talk about this week. Y'all wear shoes that have support. Move your own body, stretching, exercising, things to keep you strong. Makes a difference in how well you can care for them. Make sure you keep water and snacks nearby for yourself. There are days, I don't have time to sit down and have a whole meal. And so I have a little tray of snacks in my kitchen that I can grab quick. They're high protein things, healthy things, but enough that I can quickly eat it and I've got enough in my stomach. I also am on a meal plan where I have snack bars that actually are a fueling for me. So it really is giving me all my protein, my fiber, whatever it is I need in that meal in a really quick bar that I eat. So whatever that looks like for you, keep those things nearby, but keep yourself, fight as hard to keep yourself hydrated as you fight to keep your person hydrated because that is so important. And make sure you sit down whenever possible. Whatever you can do while caregiving from a seated position is rest on your body and especially your back, which is something that I ran into. I have a back brace that I wear in the mornings when I'm rolling my mom, when I'm shifting her position and things like that, I wear a back brace to support my back. So not every time I go into feed her and things like that, but the more physical parts of caregiving, I'm making sure my body is supported so that I can better care for her, but I'm also protecting myself because if something happens to me, what does that mean for mom? What does that mean for my family, right? Now, next thing, I wanna swing back to mental health shortcuts again for a couple minutes in this episode and dive a little bit deeper. Stop striving for perfection. Are you perfect anywhere in your life? No, you're not. Let me answer that for you real quick. Let's not even pause to think about it. So why would you be the perfect caregiver, especially if you don't have a background in caregiving and you're not a nurse or a physical therapist or you don't have that kind of a background? Why would you be perfect? Sometimes caregiving is about good enough. Are they clean? Are they comfortable? And are they safe? Are they fed? And are they hydrated? Maybe they didn't eat at all. Maybe they're not eating the most healthy thing. Like I said, my mom for breakfast every day right now, I don't know how many days we have left with her, but you know what? She is enjoying the melted ice cream. I give her through her syringe in tiny little bits. And so that's what she's getting. That's what she's getting. Stop beating yourself up. Stop pushing your person so hard because you're trying to be so perfect. That's what I realized. The harder I was trying to get everything right, the more pressure that I was actually putting on my mom because the truth is if you walk into that room to do whatever it is you're about to do with them and you are overwhelmed, frustrated, angry, whatever it might be, they are gonna feel it. And that experience, that time of feeding them, that time of bathing them, changing them, whatever is gonna be 10 times harder for both of you. So lower those unrealistic standards I'm showing up the best I know how. And that is good enough. And then also accept that some days are just gonna be messy days. There were days I ended in tears because I felt like I didn't get it right. I couldn't get my mom to cooperate, whatever. Y'all, there were days I thought, is she, I know my mom has dementia. I know her memory has shifted, but there were sometimes in some situations I thought, is she just choosing violence? Not really violence, but you know what I mean. Is she just choosing resistance right now to make things harder? Like that is the point I would get myself worked up to at times and I was like, this is ridiculous. Of course she's not, but there are those moments. Okay, tomorrow's a different day. Tomorrow's a better day. My peaceful place has become my back patio. Once I put my mom to bed, I don't go sit out there for about an hour before I go to bed. And it's just my space to get some fresh air, to clear my mind and to reset for the next day and to thank the Lord that we got through this day. However good, bad, or somewhere in between it was. Now I wanna next share some practical ideas with you guys, okay? So paper plates. We have only used paper plates, honestly for the most part, since my parents moved in here. Because why? They can go in the trash. I know there might be people out there saying, oh, the waste, the whatever. Look, here's the truth. As a caregiver, sometimes we have to do what's easy. If we always pulled all the dishes out, use them, then somebody had to take the time to load the dishwasher after every single meal. It gave us more things to do. And we were looking for ways to make things easier. And so we use paper plates. Now we still use regular bowls, but the plates were the things we use the most. They take up the most space in the dishwasher. And that's just the transition we made. It made it easier for all of us. And it makes it really easy cleanup. My dad is great about, my dad does the dishes in our house and he cleans up. Chris often cooks. Sometimes I'm helping. Sometimes I'm in with mom feeding her. And so my dad sets up our little TV trays. That's how we still eat, even though mom's bed bound. And dad will clean up the plates. Well, my dad's about to be 85 years old, y'all. I don't have to worry about him dropping a stack of ceramic plates. He can just pick up the paper plates and the napkins and throw them away. So go a little easy on yourself. Grocery delivery, holy smokes. Listen, I converted to grocery delivery, not solely, but pretty significantly during COVID. And I never went back. My parents came to live with me in August of 2022 and saving that time. Number one, I hate grocery shopping. I hate it. I don't like to go if somebody else isn't with me. I don't know. I don't know why. That's my thing. I'll just leave it at that. So that being said, grocery delivery for the things we need, one, it can get here quick. Two, my time is valuable. My time is valuable in B-mode to give my mom as much as possible. And then again, I'm building a business outside of that. So as much time as I can have to fit in between my caregiving to grow my business, to show up for my business, it's always gonna be built around my family. But if I didn't have that hour, hour and a half of driving to the grocery store, shopping, checking out, driving home, unloading everything, putting it away, I could have somebody just deliver it to my house. It takes me five minutes to type up an order of what I need. An hour later, it shows up at my house. I bring it in. Usually my dad helps me put it away, or Chris, my boyfriend, and we get it done. So it's a huge time saver. So that might be something that could be a relief to you if you have those options in your area. And letting people help. Man, I have gotten a lot louder about saying, please stop asking caregivers what you can do to help. Let me know if you need help. If you're not a caregiver, and you just happen to be listening to this, every caregiver needs help. But every caregiver is carrying such a load of things every single day, they don't have the time to sit down and think about what they need help with and who might fit that role. So if you are a friend or a family member who wants to help a caregiver, here's what you do. Call them and say, I am available to come help clean, to come over to your house and cook a meal, to pick up groceries and drop them off, to order a meal and have it delivered to your house. Those are the things that I am willing and able to help you with. Can I do that for you this next week? Or, hey, I'm running to the grocery store, is there anything you need? Because you're on my way there and back, I can just drop it off to you. Like be very specific about the help you're willing to offer so they know already if something comes up and they need help, who exactly to call that fits that role? If you're willing to come and sit with a caregiver, sit with their person for an hour. Let me know if you need to go run errands or if you wanna go meet a friend for coffee, I will come and sit for an hour. What days and times are the best for you? Be specific about what you're willing to do. Don't put that on a caregiver to have to identify and ask for because they're not going to. I didn't most of the time. And now in my position, I have amazing friends and family members who are saying, can I send you a meal? Can I order you groceries? And my typical is like, my dad is here and Chris is here. And it's not like it's just me. And I was sitting there talking to my sister-in-law and brother earlier this week. And I thought, you know what? I need to just start saying yes because it's not just about the blessing for me. It's a blessing to them when they're able to serve. And so that's one of the things that during this time when people offer something, I'm saying yes. I'm saying yes, because they deserve that blessing. And it's passing on on to us as well. Okay. All right, hacks that can help emotionally. Turn on some music during care routines. It'll lift your spirit and theirs. I play worship music. As a matter of fact, right now on my mom's TV, I just have it turned to Apple music. And it's just playing a shuffling worship music for her. When I go in to clean her up, that's a stressful time for her. I'll turn on maybe some Polynesian music because my mom is Polynesian. I'll turn on some worship music. I might turn on some upbeat music. But when there's music playing, it's harder for me to struggle or get frustrated or feel overwhelmed. And just like I said, when I walk in there with an attitude or whether good or bad, my mom can sense and feel that. That music is gonna shift that environment. I make jokes. I crack jokes all the time. When I'm bathing my mom, I will joke around saying, "Man, mom, I never, you know, I don't know what happened. You've got a much bigger chest in this life than me." And she'll kind of chuckle. And then I'll say, "When's the last time somebody else bathed you here or touched these besides dad?" Listen, I'm trying not to get too specific, but y'all that's what I joke about with my mom. And she's very non-responsive now, but she would crack up. And there's my dad helping me care for her. My dad would start cracking up too, right? It's like just find the cute little silly things to joke around about because they raise the mood and they, oh my gosh, emotionally can just, it's like giving your brain a chance to breathe, finding a little bit joy in difficult moments. Celebrate those tiny wins, the little things that go right in every single day and focus on those, not the things that didn't. And create moments that feel normal. When my mom went bed bound, I started getting on the bed with her and reading to her. You know, I massage her feet, I'll put lotion on her skin. I'll try to do the little things that make sense. Sit down and eat with her in her room. So looking for those little moments of normalcy in the time you're spending with your person, but also for yourself, getting out of the house, going for lunch, going for coffee, going for a walk. Things that make you feel like you haven't completely lost yourself are important for you emotionally. And your emotional health impacts the person you're caring for to the extreme amount. And so the more emotionally healthy and balanced you are, the more emotionally healthy and balanced you are. And lastly, make sure that you're talking to your loved one, not around them. I say, "Mom, I'm going to change your gown." Okay, "Mom, I'm going to sit you up a little bit more "so I can tuck your gown behind you "and put your pillow there.""Mom, I'm gonna go melt some ice cream for you right now."I'll be back in just a few minutes." When I'm massaging her arms and her legs,"Mom, I bet that feels so good."Rubbing your arms and legs."Let me get a little lotion and rub it in." Like I am having, I'm telling her what I'm doing. I'm having a conversation with her. I tell her she looks beautiful. I tell her she looks fresh and comfortable. All of the things. I'm telling her about what's going on during the day. If my dad's being cantankerous, I'm like,"Oh my goodness, Mom."Dad's been giving me a run for my money today." Or whatever. Talk to them like you always have a normal conversation, even if it's one-sided. They can hear you. They can hear you. And I've had a couple of people reminding me of that lately with my mom being nonverbal. She can hear what I'm saying. She can hear what's going on around her. So talking to her, talking her through the things that are happening, talking to her about my day still makes her a part of our home and the family. It brings her into everything we're doing. I hope some of these additional things I added this week on top of the things I talked about last week have been a benefit to you. I wanna end today with my hot take, which is caregivers who survive long-term are not always the strongest. They're usually the ones who simplify, make things easier for yourself, and it helps you last longer in the process of caring for somebody else. My call to action this week, you guys, I wanna know as a caregiver, if you're a caregiver, or if you know one, ask them and share it with us that way too. But what is your best hack or tip? Because somebody out there desperately needs it. If you're a caregiver, share your story. I am very open in sharing my story and not everybody loves it, but my story is not for everybody. It is for the ones who need it and they'll find it. And they are. And they're responding how much help it is. So share what you're willing and comfortable sharing with the world, because it also helps people know, and I need to reach out to them and see how they're doing. Thank you guys for joining me again for another episode of Chat With Nat, Conversations That Count. And I've got some special episodes coming up this month that I'm excited to share with you guys. So make sure you come back next week. Please share this podcast with somebody you know that's a caregiver or somebody you know who's been a caregiver or who might be one in the future. I would love to reach as many people as I can and serve them with the information I share here. So until next week, stay safe and love on your people.